In a bind….

This past year has been plagued with trials and tribulations. Mostly professional a few personal. Right now we are going through learning to balance a new life with a plus one. Its not a matter of whether or not we can handle it we HAVE to handle it. We have to learn how to deal with everything life throws at us and our new responsibility and rise to the occasion and make it work. I was watching something unfold yesterday in my arena and the irony of the situation with the mare and our current life changes made me chuckle.

My husband was given a little mare a few years back that nobody wanted. She’s had it pretty easy here but she’s pretty much taking up space and eating so as cool as she is she needs to earn her living or find a home. Her biggest downfall that has kept her from being a heel horse you can get by on versus a heel horse you can win on, is she hates do be pulled on. (Don’t We all) she’s never been asked to handle pressure situation’s, so draw a fast steer and everything is not perfect and she falls apart. We’ve all been there, cruising along merrily with everything going our way only to draw a runner and a bad handle. Well he has decided he’s GOT to get her to where she will work for someone even if it isn’t him. So yesterday morning he turned loose a hard running wild lead steer and began tracking her around the pen forcing the filly to have to speed up and slow down and handle whatever the steer threw at her. I looked out the window and there was a war going on. The filly was on the fight. My husband is a patient man he stuck with her without making a big deal of anything and let her throw her fit till she realized she was fighting herself and gave it up. It took a while she’s a hard headed little thing. When she decided to gather herself and listen to him and his guiding hand he cooled her out and quit her. Gave her a bath and took her to the roping pen last night. The steers were running on it was a real test for her whether she was going to work or protest again. He showed up back home around 10pm with a smirk on his face. Apparently she worked good enough that she gets to go along the the World Series Roping next weekend as back up to his good horse. She dealt with it and rose to the occasion.

It’s amazing how much we can learn from what we put out horses through in the training process. Years ago I was picking World Champion Clint Haverty’s brain at the vet about whether or not a foal by the late great Reining Horse Sire Gunner could run barrels. He talked about having to put a lot of them in a bind to get the best out of them and that has always stuck with me. A great horse will take the situation and learn and grow from it. A pickle will find a way to quit you and bail out. Its the same with people. If we sull up and quit in life we will never get anywhere. If we find a way to work through the pressure the next time it’s not going to be such a big deal. I’m dealing with this everyday as a new mom trying to continue on with life. I’ve recently been thru my first evening of constant screaming for attention. Not gonna lie she had me backed in corner looking for a way to make it stop. I finally after changing diapers, checking everything else that could be wrong, just dealt with it by letting her cry it out. When I went in to get her when she finally chilled out her eyes weren’t even red from crying. She was just hollering because I have came running every other time. This morning I sat her in her crib to get some work done I got a little protest and then she went to playing. Proud mommy moment but I gotta say it’s a lot easier to pick on a horse to the point your both mad and walk away than it is to let your daughter cry it out. I hope I am on the right track to teaching our daughter to deal with how things are and get better from them. I won’t ride a gutless horse I am going to do my best not to raise a gutless child.

 

Worry about yourself… a letter to my daughter.

Dear daughter,

Let me first start off by saying right now in your 7 mo of life all you care about is you and your needs. As you get older people are going to encourage you to care about other things besides yourself, Daddy and I, Red Bear and your puppies. By all means learn to be caring and generous of others but please don’t ever forget to take care of you.

This world is full of people and situations that are unfair. From the person everyone thinks is the worlds greatest whatever that you know will do anything to win, to the person who worships the all mighty dollar so much they will cut you out of a commission or not pay their bills, first chance they get. Some of these will have so many others drink their Kool Aide that your gonna be scared to stand up for yourself but handle it however makes you feel best (without going to jail please)

Your gonna look around in wonder sometime or another when you have done nothing but treat a person with respect and honesty and they spread lies about you because something didn’t suit them. Maintain your integrity don’t give them something real to spread about you. Be done with them and move on.

Your going to sit and watch the best people in the world struggle and fail and your going to see the worst achieve their every dream. Remember my daughter behind closed doors there’s more too them than what you see.

People are going to use your christian faith in bad business dealings it’s going to cut you to the core, make sure when you witness to someone it’s from the heart and genuine.

You’re not going to handle every situation with dignity or class just make sure your actions are ones you can live with. You’re going to make mistakes, your going to experience the feelings of jealousy, envy, and possibly even hatred. Please don’t let these feelings consume you.

You will fail time and time again get up and keep trying. If when you lay your head down at night you loose sleep over things that do not phase others, consider that a good thing it means you have a conscience. Care about what others think of you but know that there are those who’s minds you can not change and that’s ok. You’re

going to draw false assumptions too from time to time. Just be prepared to admit your mistakes if necessary. Win and loose graciously but do not be afraid to be proud of your accomplishments.

Most of all little one stay true to yourself, when you make mistakes, apologize. If something weighs heavily on your heart that’s god telling you to find a way to deal with it whether it’s an apology or simply removing yourself from whatever or whomever it is. Trust begins with trusting yourself. Nobody is perfect and virtually everyone kicks up their feet in a glass house. At the end of the day till you have a daughter of your own the only person you really need to worry about is you

Guilt

I have never been a person who carried around a lot of guilt. As a rule I’ve been pretty OK with most my actions. As a new mother it seems like these days I am feeling guilty constantly. As a horse trainer you have an obligation to your customers to spend time on their horses. Used too I would ride everything on certain days and take a couple days for errands and other side jobs. There are no longer days for me period. This year I am blessed to have more outside horses than ever and possibly the nicest set of horses ever. Being a new mom to an active and in tune child I am riding 7 days a week alternating out horses so that everyone gets their 4-5 days. Then I lay awake at night worrying is that enough, does my daughter get enough attention, does my husband get enough attention, my house…. well we already covered that. I am a praying person and my best praying has been done around 4 AM here lately after my daughter has gone back to sleep and I can’t. I’m lying there trying not to feel guilty for wanting to prove to the world of nay sayers I can be a new mom and train horses and maintain my art work on the side talking to god about whether or not I am doing a good job. This guilt thing sucks and add to that post part um hormones and fierce desire to conquer it all don’t be surprised if you find me at a show chewing on a tube of Ulcer Guard if I run out of Peptobismall. Truth is god answered me last night. My horses are riding great and get better everyday. My daughter couldn’t live without me rocking her to sleep last night and my husband tells me and acts like he loves me even after 7 years of literally working together, and not just when he’s hoping for a good game of Big Chief. Guilt be gone… till the next 4 am feeding!

“but I don’t think I would be near as happy working 9-5 in a suit”

I was blessed to be featured in the Carhartt Women with Cool Jobs Blog

Crafted in Carhartt

Meet Josey Butler. She grew up on a rural Missouri cattle farm and now lives and works in Texas, training horses and competing in rodeos. Josey is a fireball if I’ve ever met one. So much skill and determination flow from her as she steps into the arena. She’s confident and bold. Her horses knows who’s boss. She’s authoritative and filled with compassion and understanding at the same time. The relationship with a horse and his master is so complex and unlike anything else. When I asked Josey to explain that connection to me, I was blown away by her response.

“Being the weird horse girl growing up has taken me places nationally a lot of people will never see. It’s extremely hard work, people think you just ride horses all day, and there is so much more too it than that. You have to be a part time vet and part time therapist to a 1200 lb animal who can’t just tell…

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Mommy Woman Cowgirl

Welcome to my blog Thismommysacowgirl! This blog is all about being all of those things. It occurred to me to start writing my journey here because we lead a very crazy, entertaining, and blessed life.

My husband and I are horse trainers in our early 30′s about to embark on a journey in raising our first child. The days of our family asking,”when are ya’ll having kids” questions are done. Now to be replaced by “are you having another one?” And so begins my transition into a being a Mommy first.

Ask any horsewoman how she knows when she’s found the man of her dreams and is ready to settle down and burn the bumper stickers and Facebook posts captioned, “Don’t need no man, I got my horse.” A smart one will tell you, “when she finds a man she is willing to put before her horse but that man won’t expect her too.” A man like that’s the holy grail of horse husbands. Bonus if he’s a good horseman himself. I met mine in 2006. He called me a show off the second time we met. He’s a pretty good judge of character because that is EXACTLY what I was doing. and a few years later I got baby fever which is often viewed by others who’ve not yet been through it as being akin to the bubonic plague with really cute, but kinda smelly and noisy, co dependant side effects. After 7 years of marriage and a couple secretly pining for a child on New Years Eve our daughter decided she needed to ring in the New Year with us. At 7:09 Harper Eden came wiggling into the world with scarcely a cry. Leave it to my daughter to pick the party night of the year to have her birthday on. Her daddy and I do love us a good time and we can have one about anywhere.

My transition into Mommy first went something like this. When I found out I was pregnant on the night of our 6th wedding anniversary my husband was in West Texas helping with the clean up after the fertilizer plant explosion. He didn’t know I was about to drop a bigger bomb that would hit closer to home with that phone call. After I called him and told him my NEWS, I took a long hard look in the mirror and told myself your never going to be the same. I promised the tadpole in my tummy 3 things, it could be anything it wanted and we would be behind it 100%, I would do my very best not to turn into the mother on the Ya Ya Sisterhood Movie (I can name a few of those) and above all else he oir she would be loved unconditionally. My husband couldn’t come home for a week. Alone with my hormones and horses, I promised our baby a lot of things that week. Everyday I sat in the barn and looked at my horses who had been my reason for getting up every morning since I was a kid and knew our relationship was about to change. I’ve got to be a mommy first I explained to my 18 yr old gelding during one hormonal episode. If you have never sat in a stall and unloaded all you worry on a horse its extremely therapeutic and arguably cheaper and more comfortable than some Fruedian’s leather couch.

Not that its not what I wanted but reality hit it was really happening. I’d kinda lost faith that it was ever going too. Now 3 weeks into being a full fledged mommy I am also putting myself before the horses which is new to me as well. I want my daughter to have good habits not those of a semi transiate horse trainer like we’ve been living for years. My house is clean… um er and with the help of my husbands family it’s decorated, we take our shoes off when we come in the door and we clean the kitchen when we get done instead of saying I’ll get it later and later turns into when the dishes start looking like the leaning tower of Piza. This is just a little bit of what this blog will be about. My disclaimer for this blog goes something like this, I am sarcasticly opinionated, I am for the right to bear arms, against Obamacare and for a new president. I believe in god, and can’t stand the term Natural Horsemanship and will probably talk about all these things at some point. You’ve been warned. I hope for this blog to be an entertaining look into the world of life as a mommy woman and cowgirl

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JANUARY 19, 2014 BY MOMMYWOMANCOWGIRL

Mothering Ability

One month ago Friday I became a mother. Thus far we appear to be not failing at parenting which I knew all along we would both be able to handle, all though I have picked up that others were not so confident. From back handed compliments to actually hearing someone in another room in my house saying into their phone they couldn’t believe how wonderfully we had adapted to parenthood. Apparently they missed the part of our life where we’ve taken care of other peoples horses for years that cost more than our house so yes we are in tune to beings that can not speak. This is also my reply  to the lactation nurse who gave up talking patronizingly to me like I was an idiot after 10 minutes and told me she was impressed how in tune we are to our baby. I’m quite sure she didn’t understand this line of reasoning anymore than any normal person understood when I mentioned on facebook, me taking it as a compliment when my husband said I was going to be like a high headed momma cow. Trust me it’s high praise if you know cattle. It also means you are slightly crazy too, which hey if the shoe fits!  The lactation nurse, whom I am quite certain lives in a home burning too much incense, just nodded and forced a confused smile and continued on like I didn’t just say that.

At first it kinda hurt my feelings that it appeared that our parenting had been any kind of in doubt. I blame hormones along with my suspicious nature and a strong sense of self defense. I mean my dogs act better than most people… then I read about the toddler that was crawling in the highway over by Fort Worth and I realize those who don’t know us at all and those who have never taken the time to get to know the real us or me are off the hook. Stupidity is everywhere and I am sure at the hospital they see an unhealthy dose of it. Mistakes happen to the best parents and lord knows I’m gonna make em but loosing your toddler and it being found crawling down the highway is just uncomprehendable. That said there’s been a couple of moments where I wanted to stop and say “really!” at the things people have said both friends and family and complete strangers. Glad only my husband was around the first time I couldn’t fix whatever she was upset about and I finally just had a melt down with her. Our first mother daughter bonding moment. Thankfully daddy is equipped to handle these after being married to me already for 7 yrs.

In the mean time I am back to riding and life is adjusting nicely to our tiny plus one. I won’t lie it feels amazing to be back on a horse. I have yet to make it more than 2 horses though before I am headed to the house to check in with my daughter and her daddy. Everyday of riding is a relay race he rides a couple while I watch her and then I ride a couple while he does daddy duty. I have already brainstormed in my head how she can play outside when she’s bigger without having run ins with the most evil creatures in Texas next to a group of runner up rodeo queens. Fire Ants, I live more in fear of them than I do of anyone’s opinion in my ability to parent.

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FEBRUARY 3, 2014 BY MOMMYWOMANCOWGIRL

I’m a Horse Mom not a House Mom

I’m a horse mom not a house mom….

Having grown up with less than formal training in the house cleaning department (no offense mom) and being someone what resistant to her futile attempts to any training she attempted, it is no surprise as a new mother myself I am coming up lacking in the house cleaning department. We do our best to stay on top of the bulk of it but let’s face it 20 head of horses 4 dogs and one 7 month old that is not content to play in a playpen but is still the best baby in the world in my unbiased opinion, there’s a strong possibility you might shorten the 5 second rule to 2 seconds at my house. Such is the life of a horse mom.

A horse mom is more likely to notice the strings of bailing twine that shouldn’t be strewn about the barn aisle than the pile of boots she has to step over every time she walks in the door. She is seldom concerned about the dog slobbers on her child’s face from puppy kisses yet she refuses to let the strange lady at the restaurant offering to hold her  child take her. There’s no rhyme or reason to the way we horse moms think. It’s both a natural part of who we are and a possible default in our xx chromosome.

While society looks on disapprovingly at the methods of the horse moms they can’t help but notice the light in a horse child’s eyes. The lessons in humility, humanity, and success and failure they learn from a life as a horse child are often far stronger than those taught in the suburbs as they are a natural part of everyday life. Should they be so blessed to inherit mom and dads love for animals of all kinds, especially horses they are often less concerned with material things. They learn the things that matter to achieve your goals are hard work, setting goals, and selflessness by taking care of your horse first.

This week we had the best horse in our barn right now get very sick. I was forced to load both my daughter and the horse up and head for a surgical veterinary hospital 2 hours away. Our daughter slept to and from the clinic. While she was there she loved on the horse, charmed everyone in the clinic even though it was after hours (midnight), and observed quietly what was going on. All though she is way to young to have any idea she most certainly picked up on the tenseness of the situation as she intently studied the activities while we were evaluating and deciding the best course of treatment for the horse, whom she has had a bond with since she came home from the hospital. I remember these kind of nights with horses and cattle growing up with my family and I hold those memories close and while I silently roll my eyes at the “I can’t believe you had that baby out like that’s.” I know that I loved every minute of it when I got old enough to remember it. I can only hope that my daughter shares those memories someday with the same fondness. Truly blessed are those children who are raised in the less than spotless house of a horse mom.